"Is your job just like 'CSI?'"
The "CSI" effect is a term lawyers use for the unrealistic expectations created by television crime shows on the public -- and, therefore, the jury pool. It's a real thing. As an expert witness in forensic pathology, I see the CSI effect when I'm faced with questions like, "Why can't you tell us the precise time of death down to the minute, like on TV?"
Potential jurors are now being asked if they watch "NCIS," "CSI," "Bones," "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," and a plethora of other shows that depict forensic professionals doing our jobs. So how close are these shows to reality? I'm here to tell you.
Here are five things fictional crime shows consistently get wrong:
1. Somebody Turn on the Lights!
Television shows striving to evoke an atmosphere of suspense like to show the crime scene investigators snooping around a pitch-black death scene with anemic flashlights. Back at the lab, it's all gloomy and dim. The scientist is wearing a headlamp while he pokes at something bloody but indistinct.
Seriously?
Crime scene professionals arrive at a death scene with klieg lights. Forensic science is done in a clean and bright lab. My autopsy suite in the morgue has the same overhead lighting as a surgery suite, with good reason: I need to see what I'm cutting. You can't find the evidence if you can't see the evidence. And without evidence, there is no forensic case.
2. Where Do You Shop?
Low-cut blouses and high-hemmed skirts are not appropriate attire at a crime scene. Neither are stiletto heels, platform heels -- any heels. You don't want to wobble or trip when you're negotiating your way around a corpse on an uneven sidewalk, believe me. Police departments and sheriff-coroners have strict dress codes and grooming rules with restrictions on hairstyles and visible tattoos. You can lose your credibility as a forensic professional if you are not wearing business attire. And, besides -- nobody can afford Louboutins on a government salary.
3. Don't You Have Anything Else to Do?
Most forensic science jobs, whether in an office or the lab, are 9-to-5. You know what we say at the morgue come quitting time? "They'll still be dead tomorrow." There is no need to come in at 2 in the morning to run a lab test because you just can't sleep until you do, or to perform an autopsy -- alone! -- in the middle of the night. Unlike their television avatars, forensic scientists do not single-handedly conduct an investigation around the clock.
4. Lab Results, STAT!
DNA results in crime shows come back while the body is still warm. The toxicology report is ready before the bone saw is even fired up. Someone please tell me where these laboratories with 5-minute turnaround times are because I want to send my specimens there! Tox results take a minimum of two weeks in the fastest labs, and DNA can take months to come back. Meanwhile, the autopsy paperwork gets filed on a pending basis, and we wait for the results before we conclude anything.
5. Where Are Your PPEs?
PPE stands for personal protective equipment: gloves, face shields, masks, booties, and Tyvek suits, the gear worn by forensic professionals while performing autopsies. PPEs keep us safe from blood-borne pathogens and infectious diseases -- especially the emergent transmissible ones. But PPE is notably absent on most shows, presumably because directors want to see the actors' faces. Showing emotion with your eyes, body language and tone of voice is not sufficient? If I'm pissed off at someone in the morgue, that's how I express it. Seems to work just fine. OSHA would shut down these imaginary TV labs in a New York minute over these high-risk and needless violations. Nobody eats in the lab anymore either. That was something they did back in the days of "Quincy, M.E.," but it can get you fired nowadays. Also, it's gross.
Do I watch these shows? No. I get just as frustrated at the inaccuracies as lawyers do when they watch legal shows and clinicians do when they watch hospital dramas. At the end of a long day at work, nobody wants to relax in front of a botched-up version of what they just did all day. I'm gratified that my profession is interesting enough to others to allow them to enjoy a bit of escapism at the end of their day. Just -- please, people, please -- don't mistake television for reality.
, is a forensic pathologist and CEO of PathologyExpert Inc. Her New York Times bestselling memoir, co-authored with her husband, writer T.J. Mitchell, is . First Cut, the first novel in their medical-examiner detective series, will be published by HarperCollins in 2019.